I quit. Learn yourself

 Taxi jokes | car driver Jokes

Some short funny stories on Taxi, drivers, learners. Driver jokes

taxi, jokes, funny stories, stories, funny, driver jokes

Never ever dare to touch me again

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver shouts aloud, Car gets out of control and nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped inches away from a shop window.

For a second there was complete silence in the cab, then the driver said, “Sir, don’t you ever do that again. You nearly killed me!”

The passenger apologized for his tap and said, “Sorry, I didn’t know that a little tap would scare you so much. ” The cab driver replied, “No Sir, It’s not you.

Actually, Today is my first day as a cab driver – I used to drive a funeral van for the last 25 years and no one tapped.”

 

The crazy driver | Driver jokes

A woman is watching the news on TV and they are reporting live from a helicopter about a man going the wrong way. All the other cars on the highway are swerving all over the place trying to avoid hitting this guy.

She calls her husband to warn him as he knows that he travels on that highway at this time.

She says to him, “There’s this crazy driver on the highway going the wrong direction.”

He replies emphatically, “just one, hell there’s a whole bunch of them going all the way wrong.”

 

bonus points | Driver Jokes

A pupil of mine kept accelerating whenever he was coming up to a speed camera and I was always having to brake and tell him to slow down. When I got enough of it I pulled him over and asked him why he kept trying to speed past a speed camera. It was surprising what he said.

“My mate said If you speed through those cameras the police send you photos of you going fast to prove you can drive well along with bonus points. You can use those points to get money off your insurance.

Toilet Trouble | Driver jokes

Some test centers don’t have toilets which are really bad because many people get nervous just before a test. Before being a driving instructor I was a delivery driver. I deliver those blue roller towels that you find in toilets. When I was at Kings Heath test center in Birmingham I saw a blue towel through a back window.

“That’s odd,” I thought If they had one of those towels then they might have a toilet as well. I asked an examiner If they had a toilet at back and he replied yes but pupils aren’t allowed to use it. The answer I got was so stupid that I laughed but he took it very seriously.

“That’s a government toilet so members of the public aren’t insured to use it. If they slip over in there or hurt themselves while walking through the office to get to it then they could sue us. ”

One of my pupils explained it in the best way possible by saying ” If someone is about to demonstrate their ability to drive a car, which is a lethal killing machine, I believe they can easily handle the using a toilet.”

 

The Right of way

A driving instructor in Denmark was giving a lesson when there came a narrow bridge and from opposite side enters the bridge, a car. Both cars stopped still and neither of them wanted to go reverse. The instructor got out of his seat and pull out a baseball bat out of his boot and smashed the other car until the police came. He lost his job.

 

I hate learners.

I had just finished a mock test with a pupil when they pulled up too close to the curb and blew the tire up. We got out of the car and had a look at the flat tire and were just about to change it when.

A man came out of the house that we had pulled up outside and he was out of his control in anger. ” I hate learners, you’re useless. You ain’t got a clue” he said. He went to the back of the car, opened the boot, got the spare tire out, changed the damaged tire for us and then walked back into his house. We didn’t even ask him to and he never said anything throughout other than cursing learners. Although we were glad he changed the tire, we had no idea why!.

 

Where are we?

One day, when my friend was gone for driving training. The pupil and the instructor were about to return in half an hour and now, it’s been 2 hours. The parents and the manager were waiting for long that they started to stress out.

Suddenly, came a car sound. It was a cab. The instructor came out and shouted “I quit. We were nearly lost. I am not going to teach him further. ”

It was really a funny scene to see.

 

 

 

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